Woo Hoo!! I’m cured!!
I’ve been a bit of a miserablist recently, but I think I just found the cure:
Dr. F. Rodent, PhD Bovine Faecology:
Come on, cheer up – it can’t be that bad.
So, half the planet’s on fire with terrorism and war? Worse things happen at sea.
Yes, I did see that news story about how enormous cracks in the North Pole could signal the imminent onset of serious global warming, but I didn’t let it worry me. I’m a happy person, and I try to spend as little time as possible fretting over possible catastrophes.
After all, what’s a little global warming? Sure, it’ll probably mean famine and death for a good percentage of the planet’s population, but that’s just a drop in the ocean compared to what could happen. So turn that frown upside down!
I mean, you can’t be telling me that you’re sitting on a giant rock, hurtling through space at 108,000 kilometres a second, in an orbit that’s criss-crossed by millions of planet-killing asteroids and comets, and you’re concerned about a bit of a rise in global temperature? You worry-wart, you!
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