UK Citizenship Test

July 7th, 2009 § 3 comments

I’ve just been on the Official Practice Citizenship Test site*. What a strange set of questions to ask before letting someone become British.

(*Wordpress is making me out to be a liar. I haven’t just been on it, that was last night but the bloody post didn’t publish for some reason.)

What the fuck has question 1 got to do with anything?

In the 1980s, the largest immigrant groups were from the West Indies, Ireland, India and Pakistan.

True or False?
How many people know how many Parliamentary constituencies there are? Why would anyone need to know that? That is question three, btw.
Another true or false question: Six…

Ulster Scots is a dialect which is spoken in Northern Ireland.

No disrespect to whoever speaks Ulster Scots, but why does anyone need to know that?
Married women, when did you get the right to divorce your husbands? Number eight, that one. Not just a pointless question that shows knowledge of how to be a good citizen but badly worded too. How can an unmarried woman divorce? And who is a married woman going to divorce? It’s not the gardener, is it?

And it goes on and on. Either inane questions that serve no purpose and few of the indigenous population (I use that phrase in the sense of people who already live here, not the BNP mythical sense) know, or care, or questions that wouldn’t look out of place in an instruction book on how to use Britain properly, that again, not too many of the locals would be able to answer.

Question eleven…

The number of children and young people up to the age of 19 in the UK is…?

Who gives a shit? How is that going to stop an immigrant from offending someone, or getting run over or finding a fucking job?

The percentage of people in the UK in 2001 who said they were Muslims was…

Why is this question in there (Q12)? Is it to remind the Muslim immigrants just how few Muslims there are in the UK? Just to , y’know, remind them not to try anything?What purpose does it serve to have someone know how many Muslims there were in the UK in 2001?


Schools must be open for…

I’m British. I’m a parent of school aged children. I don’t know how many days a year schools must be open for. Maybe I should. I do now but will it make me a better person or fulfil any civic duties better?
The final question, question 24…

Which of the following statements is true?

  • The governing body of the EU is the Council of the European Union
  • the governing body of the EU is the Council of Europe

Shouldn’t that be in a European citizenship test?

All that’s happening here is that the government has issued a standardised set of approved useless facts that people should know, but can only enforce them on some people.

What would be more help would be, I don’t know, mentors or something. Someone that the new arrival can call for help with anything, or pointing in the right direction. How to go about getting a job, Where to go to get a driving licence, tell the n00bs they’ll need a TV licence. That sort of thing. Not ‘How many children are there in Britain?’

“What do you mean I don’t get the job? But I know how many Parliamentary constituencies there are!”

Oh, I got 42%. I hope I get sent somewhere warm.


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§ 3 Responses to UK Citizenship Test"

  • I got 54% so I’m back off to Germany then.


  • […] UK Citizenship Test | Sim-O All that’s happening here is that the government has issued a standardised set of approved useless facts that people should know, but can only enforce them on some people. (tags: uk migration politics) […]

  • tom says:

    Just scored 47% LOL

    Funny. We should make people take an adopted test to enter New Zealand but with questions like… what is the Maori god of the Ocean?

    What aspect of the Treaty Of Waitangi entitles the British Crown to annex Maori land?

    What is the original of Auckland City named after Lord Auckland, England?

    No, I will never see this happening. Brits are Brits, even those in my country.

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