Sim-O

There’s bad science and then there’s fucking apalling science.
The Daily Mail reports the latest victory in the war on drugs and reveals this astonishing scientific breakthrough:

Officials believe the area – near to the Taliban stronghold of Quetta in Pakistan – was turning dried cannabis leaves into heroin.

Via Bad Science

The Guardian:

[Kelvin] MacKenzie [former Sun editor] told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme that there were two reasons he could run. “One is that the Sun is very, very hostile to David Davis because of his 28-day stand, and the Sun has always been up for 42 days, or perhaps even 420 days, frankly. And secondly this is a bizarre cost to the taxpayer.”

Holy Fuck!

He said that if he stood it would be with the backing of Rupert Murdoch, the head of News International, which publishes the Sun, and Rebekah Wade, the paper’s editor, who both felt “that democracy would not be best served by a walkover”

No, democracy would be best served by doing what Mr Murdoch wants. Wouldn’t it Mr Murdoch?

Update:
Just seen this report on the BBC site:

Mr Mackenzie, who backs Labour on 42 days, said he wanted to stand against Mr Davis on behalf of the Sun and had the backing of the newspaper’s proprietor Rupert Murdoch

Anyone who votes for this fucker, if he stands, is just as much a cunt as Mackenzie is.
Mackenzie, in the few brief reports I’ve read, is basically for a police state. Not only that, he would not only be standing with the backing of Rupert Murdoch, but on behalf of one of his ‘newspapers’.
He will be standing for election because The Scum can’t. He would be doing, or trying to do what The Scum would do. That is a scary thought.

If he does stand, don’t be cunt, don’t vote for Mackenzie The Scum.

Via LC

Documentally:

On more than one occasion, while out and about taking photographs, (mainly in London) I’ve been stopped for having a camera round my neck and looking like I might be about to take a picture.

Yup, that’s all it seems to take now-a-days to raise the suspicions of some underpaid private security guard. Just be out and about minding your own photographic business, perhaps dangerously close to the threshold of some crappy shopping centre and as quick as it takes for a CCTV camera to rotate.. There they are, trying to enforce some imaginary law.

I’ve noticed I’ve been using more and more swearing in my posts. It’s not a conscious decision to go down the swearblog route, I think I’ve just started to relax a bit more.

Anyway, if I’ve offended anyone, stop being so fucking sensitive!

Patrick Cockburn, The Independent:

George Bush is willing to modify some of the demands so the Iraqi government can declare “a significant climbdown” by the American side allowing Baghdad to sign the treaty by 31 July.

But the US currently only maintains about 30 large bases in Iraq [originally the agreement wanted 58 bases], some the size of small cities; the rest are “forward operating bases”.

The US ambassador to Iraq, Ryan Crocker, denied The Independent’s report that the US wanted permanent bases in Iraq. But the reality of the US plan is that Iraqi authority would be purely nominal with a few Iraqi soldiers stationed outside the bases.

Ynet

IDF, police, Shin Bet forces launch massive search for two settlers who reported their own kidnapping. After being found, settlers change story to say a third friend was abducted. Only 90 minutes later did they confess to lying.
…
IDF troops carrying out an arrest operating in Nablus were dispatched to the neighboring village and located the two settlers, though they were found to be unrestrained.

When confronted by the soldiers, the settlers fabricated yet another story – they reported that there had been a third member of their party and that he had been abducted by the Palestinians. At this point reinforcement troops were summoned. An hour and a half into the search, the two finally confessed to have made up the claims.

Obviously hoping to get a few Palestinians heads kicked. There’ll be a slap on the wrist at the most.

Or was it never there to start with?
Our beaurocracy is full of either spies or incompetent twats.
The Times:

Secret files on the al-Qaeda threat and the Iraqi security forces were left on a train by a senior intelligence official, the Cabinet Office said yesterday. Last night the department said that the man at the centre of the investigation into the loss of the documents had been suspended from his job.
…
the report, commissioned by the Foreign Office and Home Office, was classified “UK top secret” and each page was marked “For UK, US, Canadian and Australian eyes only”.

Top secret files, left in a train station. Gormless official suspended.

What the fuck was this muppet doing with ‘Top Secret’ documents out of his briefcase, never mind letting them out of his grip, in a fucking train station? Not exactly the most secure of areas, is it?

And suspended? What the fuck? There should be no excuse for this kind of thing. No reason to let the file out of his hands, no reason to be reading a ‘Top Secret’ file in a public place (never heard of ‘reading over someones shoulder’?) because there should be no reason for the file to be out of the HO lackeys’ briefcase.
The HO bod should be instantly dismiss for gross incompetence or extreme stupidity, not fucking suspended, presumably whilst the incident is ‘investigated’. WTF is there to investigate? He put it down and forgot about it. There, it’s been investigated, now sack the fucker. He won’t be out of work long, I hear McDonalds are always hiring.
Fucking suspended, I ask ya?

Update:
The Times:

Under a code drawn up for Whitehall and Intelligence services officials can only remove intelligence documents from Government departments if they seek authorisation and then follow a strict protocol.

The code allows the documents to be taken on public transport but they have to be kept inside a locked briefcase at all times. The briefcase has to have both a lock and two straps which must be used. The key should be carried in the owner’s pocket and the case must be held in the hand rather than put on a luggage rack.

How the fuck can ‘intelligence’ people, be so fucking stupid?

BBC:

Prime Minister Gordon Brown has narrowly won a House of Commons vote on extending the maximum time police can hold terror suspects to 42 days.

Oh! The irony of it all…
DK:

Our beloved government would not have been able to secure the passage of legislation designed to restrict the activities of one group of religious extremists (Muslim terrorists) without the help of another group of religious extremists (the Democratic Unionist Party of Northern Ireland).

I may not be man enough to square up to Mrs -O, but I can still be subversive in my own little way.
So in a not-ripped-off-from-Sunny-at-all way, I give you LOL-Bush!

It’s, er, just the one at the moment, I’ll update if I do some more, or you let me know of yours.

And another mention for Stop The War, 15 June.

I’m not much of a fan of Chimpy McFlightsuit* and so I was pleased to get an invite to join Operation Manticore.

But after reading in their forum where it was heading, I’ll be following avidly, but not participating.

I’m all for a bit of gentle civil dis-obedience, but my bollocks aren’t as big as they once were and more frighteningly, Mrs -O would kill me.

Best of luck guys, and your secret’s safe with me.

I suppose I’d better take my Operation Manticore banner down now.

Oh, don’t forget to tell your mates:

Protest at Bush Visit – 5pm, 15 June, Parliament Square

*blatantly ripped from bloggerheads